Navigating the Valentine’s Day Drought on Vashon Island

Ah, Valentine’s Day, that wonderful time of year when the air is filled with the scent of roses, the sound of happy couples giggling, and the sight of heart-shaped everything. Oh, how I adore being reminded of my perpetual singlehood amid this romantic extravaganza!

Valentine’s Day takes on a uniquely exasperating tone on Vashon Island, nestled in the heart of Puget Sound. You see, while the rest of the world may be bustling with eligible bachelors and potential love interests, Vashon seems to have missed the memo entirely. Instead, we have a delightful selection of married men with families who seem to think that a flirty smile and a suggestive wink are acceptable forms of communication with the single ladies of the island.

Oh, but fear not, dear reader, for we also have our fair share of single men! Yes, you heard that right – they do exist. However, their presence is about as noticeable as a seagull in a storm. You can find them either propped up on a barstool at Sporty’s, precariously close to falling off due to their intoxication or passed out on their couches at home, snoring away the evening while Netflix plays on repeat.

What a charming selection we have, don’t we?

It’s as if the men of Vashon have collectively decided that dating is not worth their time or effort. Who needs romance when you can have a cold beer and a rerun of some forgettable sitcom, right?

And so, here we are, the women of Vashon, left to navigate the treacherous waters of singledom with nothing but our wits and a healthy dose of sarcasm to guide us. It seems that Vashon is where women go to be left alone, to live out their lives in peace, surrounded by nothing but the tranquil sound of the waves and the occasional seagull squawk.

So this Valentine’s Day, as the rest of the world celebrates love and romance, spare a thought for us poor souls here on Vashon Island. We may not have flowers, chocolates, or even a halfway decent date, but we have each other – and really, isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?

Oh, who am I kidding?

Pass me the chocolate and crank up the Netflix. It’s going to be a long night.

This article has been submitted by a Vashon Resident (or non-resident somehow connected to Vashon) who chooses to remain anonymous. Anyone can submit an article on any related island subject should they choose. Articles submitted to through our “Submit an Article” process are carefully reviewed for grammar, spelling, and accuracy to the best of our ability, though we sometimes miss the mark. Articles posted from these submissions are the opinions, statements, and facts provided solely by the Author and do not reflect the opinions or statements of the business and/or the Vashonites community.

Vashon Island
Author: Vashon Island

Vashon is an Island located between Tacoma and West Seattle. This account manages the website full on useful information for residents and visitors of the Island.

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