Since we live in a rural community, one of the ways we most commonly interact with each other is by driving on the same roads, which, it turns out, we all completely suck at. We can’t use the most basic functions of our cars.
We start with this post:
I remember visiting California and the rain set off the Mercedes’ car alarms. Maybe some car alarms are just too sensitive for our jarring world. And honestly, I can relate to that.
And speaking of being too sensitive, we have this post.
I personally think it does kids good to lose a popularity contest to a rusty shovel. Keeps them humble.
One commenter says, “I actually told my kid she couldn’t run because she’s a kid and not an animal. And then a kid won. She is still mad at me about it.”
I hope she runs next year on a vengeance campaign. Her whole platform will be locking up the haters.
One person brings up the point that we’re not voting for the candidate, so much as the charity they represent. They say, “As a longtimer I’m a little embarrassed, I thought the unofficial mayor contest was more of a charity contest? So by voting you’re donating money to the charity being advertised by your favorite character?”
The candidate doesn’t lose; their charity does. Will that humble charities? Absolutely not. They will continue to send you mail until the sun turns to ash.
The original poster then asks, “Which begs the questions, what if we have multiple kids running next year, are they the faces of these non profits? Does it guilt people into voting for children vs the actual non-profits they would typically vote for? Or do the children running truly understand people are voting for the non-profits and not them?”
I’ll break it down. First question: Yes, they are the faces of those non-profits. Second question, part one: You can vote for multiple different charities, so you’re voting for the kid in addition to the dog and the goat, not instead of. Question two part two: No one feels that much guilt. If you are struggling with guilt because a child asked you to put ten cents in a jar for charity, you may need to talk to a spiritual leader. Question three: despite this being a fact that is apparently incredibly difficult for some adults to fathom, the children do understand that people are voting for the non-profits and not for them personally. I hope this helps.
One commenter shows how different parents view the situation differently. They say, “As a mom, I voted for him. My husband said ‘I would have voted against him because only one kid should be sacrificed before lesson learned’ ”
So I guess some people feel like a kid losing a mock election is a brutal hurt, akin to a sacrifice.
One person says, “I think of it more like Girl Scouts selling cookies to support their troops; they don’t sell equal quantities, and the biggest sellers receive special recognition.”
Another person has this take, “I think the mayoral candidates should all be animals. I would really look forward to their campaign speeches.”
The original poster finally gets to the point: they feel personally aggrieved by a child raising money for charity because they feel compelled to donate. “I guess I’ll just ask straight out what I was beating around the bush about. I thought it was implied. But we’ve been deflecting. When people are looking at the options and see a human kiddo with feelings and awareness, does it sway the votes? Legit question, no?”
No, that is not a legit question. You can vote multiple times and for multiple candidates. And no, it doesn’t sway the vote. I, a heartless cynic, can walk past a seven-year-old asking me for money if I so choose. I will, however, stuff a twenty-dollar-bill under the collar of a particularly cute beagle.
People are really projecting their prejudices and insecurities on this one kid. We have a hater who thinks raising money for charity will make children entitled and insufferable. “Here’s the rant – If you think we have some entitled adults on this island … imagine the entitlement these kid ‘mayors’ will grow up with. Let’s go back to goats, dogs and marsupials.”
I’ll leave the topic with this one commenter, who points out that we should all just chill and appreciate what we’ve got. They say, “Let’s let Vashon be Vashon and not make up rules where it doesn’t seem like there need to be rules. Sometimes it’s a kid. Sometimes it’s a tree. Sometimes it’s an adult or a dog or a geoduck or piece of art or the color chartreuse. Keep it loose. Keep it weird. ”
But let’s get back to bad drivers, which are the lifeblood of our online group and the glue that holds our community together.
I have one of these in my car, but I just assumed it launched missiles, so I’ve been afraid to use it.
One person notes, “Seems to be an issue here on the island right? Maybe the auto parts store is running low on blinker fluid.”
If you’re wondering what blinker fluid is, it’s the coffee that you spill on your steering wheel and into your lap while driving.
A commenter says, “I use it all the time, even when I’m not turning left or right. So fun”
Also, you should use that red triangle that makes both blinkers go simultaneously if you’re going straight.
The best is when I confuse the wipers and the turn signal. I’m trying to signal to you that I’m going left, but I instead accidentally smear bird poop over my windshield. I’m panicking because I can’t see properly and I’m leaning to my left to see around the streaks and taking the steering wheel with me. Now I’m not so much turning as veering into your lane.
One person uses this guilt trip: “I saw a bumper sticker in town yesterday: ‘Jesus would’ve used his turn signal.’”
It’d be more effective if they said, ‘The unofficial mayor, who is a child, wants you to use your turn signal.’
Also,what’s Jesus driving? Ford Fiesta? Dodge Ram? I actually picture him as more of a bicycle guy.
We may talk some big talk about bad drivers, but we need to remember that our words affect other people. We have the following post reminding us not to be snide. I would like you all to completely ignore all their advice. Otherwise, I’d have nothing to write about.
Someone posts a cute gif that says, “What did you do?”, to which the original poster offendedly replies, “no offense, but to make the obvious leap to ‘what did I do’ rather than ‘what happened’ or ‘are you okay’ is the heart of the problem.”
When the commenter then asks, “What happened?” they get no reply.
One commenter says, “Be kind people, it’s that easy. Thanks to those who stand up and point out unnecessary ridicule and cruelty. Most of us don’t have time to be bothered with that nonsense; so keep it to yourself please. Hope that’s not too harsh.”
That was way too harsh, actually. I’m hurt and crying. How dare you use such forceful language on this, the website originally created to rate how hot Harvard students are and which has evolved into a global phenomenon that’s mainly used to sell sketchy hair growth vitamins.
And speaking of gratitude, we have this lovely Thanksgiving post:
All the people in the comments listing store hours and offering pads from their own stash is what makes me feel the spirit of the season in my core (cramps).
I will leave you with this post, which contains a lovely fall image of the autumn foliage and the suggestion of a gentle breeze.
P.S. The holiday season is upon us, so the first person to post about the wonky candy cane wins.
Author: Anna Shomsky
I'm a former teacher and a data engineer living on Vashon Island. My writing has appeared in Five on the Fifth, Women on Writing and on the Post-Culture Podcast. I wrote and produced the radio show Whispers of Vashon for 101.9 KVSH. I’ve had short stories published in the anthologies Island Stories and Chicken Scratchings, as well as through the Open Space Literary Project.
