only on Vashon- the weekly rundown 05/14/21

We have big philosophical questions this week, such as, if there’s dreck on the bottom of a can of food, is it still safe to eat? We all agree that it’s safe. I have cans in my house that expired two years ago, but I don’t throw them away because what if the apocalypse comes and I’m really hungry and the only thing left is that expired can of pumpkin pie filling?

On the rants groups, someone posted the difference between they’re, there, and their. (For example: They’re over there with their theremin.) I’m not sure if this is a rant about how English spelling is difficult, or how people posting on Facebook do not sufficiently workshop and revise their tweets before posting. 

As an aside, did you know that the word grimoire, meaning a magical book for summoning demons, comes from the word grammar? Grammar, much like magic incantations, is a set of rules about the particular construction and order of language to either communicate an idea or make it rain frogs. 

And speaking of our homes returning to nature. birds built a nest in a group member’s shed and had babies. Can she move the nest? Nope, the shed belongs to the birds now. Some people suggested showing hospitality by leaving them worms on a plate. 

We’ve talked about the best way to deal with rats getting into our cars. I’ve tried noise-making machines, lavender oil, and I even once left the cat in the car overnight. Nothing helped. I’ve finally opted for giving up driving altogether. My car belongs to the rats now. 

Someone is trading eggs for veggie starts. I get excited whenever I see posts like these because I have so many eggs I’d be happy to trade. But then it turns out the poster also has eggs and is looking for veggies. One of these days I won’t read carefully enough and will end up trading eggs for eggs. 

Vashon Island Rental

There’s a beautiful abandoned cabin in the woods that a group member told us he used to imagine running away to when he was a kid. It’s dilapidated now and leaning precariously against buttress logs (exposed beams!) and has gaping holes in the roof (skylights!). It’s renting out for $3000 a month, plus deposit. 

I’m deeply invested in the heartbreaking drama of the eagles with the failed nest, as well as the dead otter found in the road. Was it a mother who’s left an orphaned pup? Thankfully there’s some good animals news- two escaped goats have returned and been reunited with their play structure. 

Recently, many young people have expressed wanting housing in exchange for farm work. The meandering conversation that followed somehow led to a discussion about whether the admins are involved in a secret identity conspiracy. To clear things up, I will tell you firmly and definitively that yes, I am a spy. I’m an internationally hunted woman of intrigue and double dealings on the lam from multiple jurisdictions for the crime of stealing from mailboxes. 

Finally, someone posted a beautiful hairy spider with a spot of green iridescence.

Anna Shomsky
Author: Anna Shomsky

I'm a former teacher and a data engineer living on Vashon Island. My writing has appeared in Five on the Fifth, Women on Writing and on the Post-Culture Podcast. I wrote and produced the radio show Whispers of Vashon for 101.9 KVSH. I’ve had short stories published in the anthologies Island Stories and Chicken Scratchings, as well as through the Open Space Literary Project.

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