For months, or possibly years, I’ve been following along with a slowly unfolding drama. There’s a big metal structure that I think is a utility box at the intersection of 87th and Ellisport. On google maps, the box appears naked.
But warring bands of artists have been laying claim to this box, and each time I pass it by, there’s some new art on it. I haven’t managed to get every iteration. My memory is the psychic equivalent of loose buttons rattling around in a dryer, but I think the timeline went something like this: Stalk tagged the box. Someone painted a duck over the word Stalk. Stalk tagged the duck. Someone wallpapered over the tagged duck. Someone (possibly Stalk???) ripped off the wallpaper. Someone whose styling is very much not stylized rubber ducky painted a chicken.
So I posted this, trying to find out who is behind this.
Most people said no, except for one person, who said they knew but wouldn’t tell me. Or, as they put it, “i know some stuff….. but i aint telling! as Iris deMent says- sometimes you gotta let the mystery be.”
C’mon! I can keep a secret. It’ll just be between you, me, everyone who reads the post, everyone who reads this blog, and the millions of bots who scour the internet for data.
The general consensus is that we love the ducks. One person says, “I love the ever-changing artistic expressions here. It should be a rotating exhibit.”
It kinda already is a rotating exhibit. Maybe on First Fridays they could put some plastic cups of white wine and a plate of cheese and grapes on top of the box. It would definitely attract visitors, both human and avian.
I envision it being kind of like how on First Fridays I always make a beeline for the table at the back of Southby’s and fill up on crackers and cheese cubes, then spend a minute appreciating the art and wondering if I should chug the wine or if I can get away with open carrying.
It turns out that the art did briefly have something akin to the goodies available at a gallery opening. One person tells us, “Love all the ducks! The new duck had a bunch of duckies on top. And now they are all gone! ”
As with all art, there are critics. One person says, “Why hasn’t anyone put a goose yet? seems like the most logical move yo?”
Be the change you want to see in the world. Buy a spray paint can and make a goose.
Another islander says, “I vote Duck! ”
I didn’t realize the graffiti was chosen democratically. If that’s the case, I vote Sistine Chapel.
Some people unfortunately missed the wallpaper installation. One says,“When was the Mandelbrot duck?! I never saw it! Very cooooool!!!!”
An observant islander answers, “Someone had to stealthily measure, then design it, then sneak in during the dark of night to install it. The Mandelbrot Duck… sounds like the title of a novel!”
I don’t think this is a Mandelbrot fractal. Mandelbrot is the one that looks like a butt. I think maybe this is an Iterated Function System fractal? But I don’t know! Whoever made it should reach out to me and tell me their process and also their entire life story.
As for what happened to the wallpaper, a knowledgeable islander says, “sadly it got destroyed within a day or two after installation. It was really cool!”
Apparently outdoor wallpaper isn’t a thing. Too bad. I wanted to cover the outside of my house entirely in fractal duck. This is partly because I am in awe of it, and partly because I am always looking for new ways to bring down local property values.
One commenter is forward looking, thinking about how this art will be perceived by future generations. They say “In 75 years the box will host a new specimen of mineral with the layers of paint. Let’s name it Duckicite. ”
And one islanders wants to commodify the ducks. They say, “you know what? I am totally anti-bumper sticker. But that one? Like on a really strong magnet? Would be SOOOOO freaking cool!!! Like all the ducks on magnets. Just seeing people drive by with them would make me soooo happy. Better than the pretentious euro country style black font VSH on a white background black outlined oval. Or the island outline. And maybe the ducks could convey information. Ok. Now I’m just procrastinating work.”
I’m curious what kind of information the duck magnets would convey.
No one will help me solve my mystery, but at least we’re helping an islander solve the age old questions of ‘how do I get the burnt bits out of the pot.’
People have all sorts of suggestions. This brings me great joy, because it means I’m not the only one who has forgotten I was cooking, wandered off, and only returned to the kitchen when the fire alarm went off. I like cooking with cast iron because all the past failures that cling to the pan are considered ‘seasoning’.
It turns out there’s a cottage industry around pan cleaning, as well as many home remedies.
Some typical comments are:
- “Bar Keepers Friend Cleanser.”
- “Boil some water with baking soda for a good amount of time while scraping every so often!”
- “rock-salt with some rubbing alcohol in it.
”
- “Ketchup! Let it soak with a layer of ketchup on it.”
Some people give longer explanations, which I’m including here so I can find them when I inevitably burn another pan. One says, “I have done this myself more than once I boil a small amount of water in the bottom so that the pan is good and hot then I pour out the water I add one cup apple cider vinegar to the hot pan and a full cup of baking soda  stir  and stir as it bubbles remove from heat. Let’s sit and then give it a good scrub down the heat and the baking soda /cider vinegar will do their work. ”
One islander asks, “Would that work for a neglected cookie sheet, do you think? I would definitely never fail to scrub my cookie sheets, askin’ for a friend.”
Another person suggests, “Steal wool.”
I think they mean steel wool. But maybe sheep theft will lead to clean pans.
Another person says, “I use a flat razor blade to get the bulk and then scrub with a stainless steel scrubber. I do this way too often when I walk away from my boiling maple sap/syrup as I’m finishing it. So annoying and a waste of good big leaf maple sap!”
I have a scraper I use to clean my stove top. My mother-in-law just has a straight razor that she keeps on her cook top. I feel like that’s playing with fire. What if you accidentally drop it into the batter? Then it becomes the most dangerous coin cake.
People keep mentioning something called “the pink stuff.” I’m not sure what it is. Probably bubble gum. I’m gonna try cleaning my pans with bubble gum.
Another person comes up with a solution that’s worse than the problem. “If you’re using aluminum to cook with, throw it into a recycling bin. Lye drain unclogger which is Sodium Hydroxide can loosen the carbon stain BUT it is dangerous to skin and must be used carefully. Don’t even get it on your nitrile gloves. Oven cleaner might be safer to use.”
I mean, we could also say, “drop it in a volcano” but that seems more dangerous than is necessary.
One person recommends, “Put a carbon whisking steel brush on a drill.”
OP synthesized all our advice and then posted the following updates with this comment: “Calling it good enough for now. Thanks for all the suggestions! BK Friend moistened with Windex and drill!”
I like the theme we’ve got this month of helping each other out instead of ragging on each other. We have this question:
I moved to the island after he had passed, and I only know of him from the statue outside town. But lots of people share their memories. Here’s one:
“Gary would cut things with the torch and weld things in metal shop without any goggles, or welding mask, the teachers would calmly say ‘Gary, safety first, put your goggles on, put your welding helmet on’ he would smile and laugh, say o.k. with that sheepish grin…Gary carried many chain saws, he did have one with a 36″ bar, back in the day he helped build a really cool tree house …”
Another says, “In my 40 years here I’ve never heard anyone refer to him as ‘cool’ Gary The man followed my mum around town with an ax once.”
Another islander has this story: “I just remember being a kid and my Dad would always pull over and pick Gary up, chainsaw and all. At one point I remember he also had a cat.”
Another person says, “Our dad did too! Sometimes he was carrying lumber or a sheet of plywood. He was scary looking but always kind, respectful and appreciative!”
And someone adds, “one time my Dad picked him up and he told my sister and I to scoot over and we were like ‘what?!’ then he said fine, just get in the back. So Gary took front cab with his chainsaw and my sister and I at 6 and 7 were just loose and tumbling around in the back. Simpler times…”
The pre-pandemic thing I miss the most is picking up hitchhikers. I miss just picking someone up and having a conversation for a couple minutes. I once picked up a teenager while Pearl Jam was on the radio and he asked “Is this Led Zeppelin?” It was brutal.
Once I picked up a hitchhiker and brought her to the ferry while I was on my way to my kid’s pediatrician appointment. The doctor asked all sorts of questions, one of which was, “Have you been teaching her about stranger danger?” I paused, then said, “yes, of course,” and really hoped my daughter wouldn’t mention that we’d picked up a hitchhiker together earlier that day. In my defense, the hitchhiker was carrying an accordion, not a chainsaw.
But back to chainsaw brands. Op says, “I just wanna know if he’s a Stihl man or a Husky man but my intuition tells me McCulloch.”
I guess if you’re shopping for chainsaws, you’d want to know what the best in the business use.
One person actually answers the question. They say, “pretty sure he had a few different brands and sizes depending on the job,him and his dad had a shop with some good tools he did a lot of his own maintenance and repair”
And speaking of maintenance and repair:
One person comments, “I saw a black Subaru yesterday go right through and pushed the cones with his car. I was like dang alright.”
I would have guessed the White Tesla of Entitlement would do such a thing. But a Subaru? You are making us all look bad. (I have a Hyundai, but spiritually, I drive a Subaru.)
Some people immediately decide to blame the Department of Transportation for people driving over the bridge. One says, “Let’s say hypothetically if wsdot wasn’t dogging the job forever, people wouldn’t have such an opportunity to do this. If it’s closed, shouldn’t there be people working on it? Seems like nobody works on it very much.”
An astute islander makes this point: “So what you’re saying is WSDOT should be paying workers to stand there and watch the concrete cure in order to justify the current bridge closure?”
The commenter responds, “if this were Japan that whole job would be done in a week or less. Excuses are like…”
Our astute islander makes these two points: “1. This is not Japan. 2. Concrete takes at least a week to cure after it has been poured. No matter how expeditious you want this job to be, it still moves at the speed of science.”
Another islander makes an additional point. “This isn’t WSDOT it’s King County Roads.”
If you’re going to be mad, at least be mad at the correct organization.
A friend of mine chimes in and says, says: “Wow. What the heck people?!”
Now, I happen to know that my friend walked across the bridge. Crossing by foot is different than driving because they haven’t done any work on the sidewalk. And she dragged in my garbage cans from the curb for me, so I probably shouldn’t call her out for crossing the bridge. Also she had a baby bird tucked away in her shirt that she’d rescued after it had been abandoned by its parents. So she and a bird crossed the bridge together. She even said she wasn’t the only one. There was also a biker who crossed at the same time.
Now I kinda want to get out a camping chair and sit by the bridge and watch people look left and right, then tentatively place a foot on the sidewalk, take a deep breath, and skedaddle over the bridge. Or maybe I should get a hobby.
Some people have just been avoiding the whole southern half of the island due to the bridge closure. One person posts this:
Answers vary. One person says, “King County website says they’re hoping for the 29th…”
Another adds, “October 3rd … we’ll hold our breath until.then!”
The sign on the bridge says it reopens on September 22nd. Since that date has passed, maybe they mean September 22, 2027? Or maybe there’s a temporal anomaly surrounding the bridge, and when it opens up we all go backward in time a couple weeks.
There may be a reason for the prolonged closure beyond having to wait for both dry weather and concrete to cure. One person says, “There is a troll and she keeps punching holes in it. It will never open it’s cursed. We shouldn’t have chased that little green man off the island.”
Another adds, “I think they found a treasure and still haven’t finished digging it out yet.”
As for the original post, I love the beautiful beach background they chose, considering this is the actual view from atop the bridge:
Someone should paint a duck on it.
Author: Anna Shomsky
I'm a former teacher and a data engineer living on Vashon Island. My writing has appeared in Five on the Fifth, Broken Spine, Women on Writing and on the Post-Culture Podcast. I wrote and produced the radio show Whispers of Vashon for 101.9 KVSH. I’ve had short stories published in the anthologies Island Stories and Chicken Scratchings, as well as through the Open Space Literary Project.
