Only on Vashon – The Monthly Rundown April 2025

We start with an important public service announcement: There may soon be a meetup for chihuahuas. 

There is so much interest in this group. We’ve collected enough chihuahuas to make a calendar. One person says, “You could be Chihuahuas on Parade for the Festival Parade.”

Yes, I think this is the greatest idea. I volunteer to help build a chihuahua float for all the chihuahuas to ride on. They can stand on it, shaking like they’re trying to free their skin from their bones and barking like they’ve seen the spectre of death and only the sound of their yips can keep her at bay. Let’s put them behind the marching band and see how that goes.

I have done the service of collecting the chihuahua pictures people put in the thread and making this collage. You’re welcome. 

I would like to draw your attention to the dog on the bottom right. I need someone to tell me where this dog works, and what his role in security is. Has he ever taken down a bandit? He looks way more buff and competent than any chihuahua I’ve ever seen, though I realize the bar is low. That dog has doberman energy. I mean, compare him to the dog resting on the breastfeeding pillow or the one wearing a jean jacket. Side note, that’s a super cool jacket. Do they sell them in human sizes?

Many of these dogs are only part chihuahua. Some are “Chiweenies,” which is a word I just learned and plan on working into conversations every day now. 

One person posts her dogs and says, “ZsaZsa and Ava, though only 1/2 chihuahua.”

Two half chihuahuas equals one full chihuahua, so I vote they can go to the meet up. 

Another islander has this dog: “Mai Mai could use some fun! Long coat tri color apple head with a couple extra pounds and her longer haircut. 11 and believes she’s a cat I’m pretty sure.”

I think we need a thread where everyone just describes their dogs, both how they look and what their entire outlook on life is, as well as our understanding of their self-perception. I’ll go first. 

I have two dogs, Woofy the husky and Waffles the golden. Woofy is a creature of routines that are so specific they border on religious. Every day he has a stick of butter. He buries it outside, then comes and gets a person in the house to unbury the butter. You unbury it, kick it around a bit, then he picks it up, buries it somewhere else, and guards it for a while. Eventually he comes and gets you to unbury it again. Throughout the day he eats/wears down his butter, so by the evening it’s just a sad, dirty nub. In the morning, he stands on the steps and puts his paw on your arm, signalling he needs a new butter. This moment feels to me a bit like an act of communion. 

Waffles has no sense of where his body ends and the world begins. You’ll frequently hear a rhythmic thumping coming from the hallway. Though it sounds like the spectre of death approaching (I don’t have a chihuahua to keep me safe from that particular threat), it’s just Waffle’s tail repeatedly banging into the wall as he wags. Sometimes you’ll hear a crash, and you know Waffles has just wagged something off a table. He sometimes farts himself awake, then gets confused by consciousness and barks at nothing. You have to comfort him and tell him, “shh. It’s ok. It’s just existence.” Then he calms down and proceeds to pick a fight with the cat. The cat always wins. 

And speaking of creatures with no sense for their environment, we have these two fabulously parked cars who have managed to take up four spaces. 

The first comment on the post is: “I hate vashon”

I don’t know if they mean they hate Vashon because people park badly, or because people shame people for parking badly. 

Some people see details in this picture I missed. One person notes the white stain by the driver’s side. 

A commenter says, “it’s paint I believe. That spot has been there for months.”

The poster responds, “ah, I never go to Thriftway so I’m unfamiliar with the parking lot nuances. I am intrigued.”

How is that possible? I know the Thriftway parking lot better than I know my own house. When they replaced the hedges with smaller plants I had to take a day off from work to recover from the shock. 

And speaking of parking something where it doesn’t belong, Meta has foisted its AI integration into the group.

The Rants founder posts this ominous screenshot: 

I want to cyberbully that tree goblin. 

I don’t understand why Meta thinks that people go to social networks to interact with AI. Is it because the CEO is notorious for surrounding himself with yes-men, and thus every conversation he has with a human feels identical to an AI saying, “Great Question!”

The group founder informs us, “There’s no way to stop this AI bot from joining the group.” The most she could do was disable it from commenting, but it’s still there, lurking, feeding on our inane ramblings, growing ever more putrid and crazed every day. When computers become sentient and overtake us, this one will be out for the blood of people who park badly. We will need as many security chihuahuas as we can muster to keep ourselves safe. 

And speaking of group moderation, we have the following complaint. 

I’m sorry, you go on Facebook for enlightening reading material? I go on facebook to get scammed by fake Danish comfort-core influencers and eventually get radicalized and then join a cult. That and pictures of Moo Deng. 

If you want intellectual stimulation, might I interest you in a book club? 

Others tell the poster to be the change they want to see in the world. One person says,  “It is a time-honored Vashon groups tradition for disgruntled group members to go form their own specialized Vashon group when the special group they belong to doesn’t suit their own very specialized needs.”

Another adds, “Maybe we need a Vashonites Thought-Provoking Conversations page.”

I’m trying to imagine what would be on that page. We’ll probably just rehash all the old Talmudic debates. Someone will post, “If a knife is accidentally dropped but manages to cut the throat of an animal in exactly the way a ritual slaughter is done, would the meat be Kosher?” To which people will answer, “Keep your cats indoors, you monsters!” 

But let’s back up to the original post. They invoke Freedom of Speech, which is a thing we all have opinions on. Does freedom of speech mean you can say anything, anywhere, and everyone present has to listen? Or does it mean the government can’t pass laws that would punish speech? 

The poster seems to be implying that the first amendment means that every bit of language you come across needs to be stimulating to you personally or else your rights are being infringed. This is definitely the wildest interpretation I’ve ever heard. 

But the poster brought up a point that people have been debating, so we have a poll about whether we should allow political posts on the rants page. Federal politics affects people and institutions on Vashon, so maybe those posts are relevant? 

Group members tended to vote in favor of political posts, especially those related to the Postal Service. 

Another post points out that we can’t disentangle politics from our lives. They say, “Personal is political these days.” They then quote an older post from someone whose family has been on the island for generations, which makes them an arbiter of culture and taste, to whom we newbies must defer. The quoted post ends with this sad song, “All of that was pre-social media, but it still rings true. Don’t be blasting out polarizing, controversial ‘opinions’ and fighting with people on social media and expect people to want to help you find a rental house or fund your weird invention. People are their own worst enemies.”

I know people say that social media makes us blast our opinions to the world whereas in the before-times people used to be polite, but I swear I remember learning in school that there were signs all over the place that said things like “Whites Only.” Politics has always been in the public sphere. It’s been deeply hurtful to so many people for so long, and that hurt often goes unrecognized by people who don’t feel affected by it. They view the past as apolitical because they weren’t asked to confront the politics. Social media puts politics in people’s faces, and for some people, this is the only time they’ve been confronted with it in such an immediate manner.

Also, I don’t think blasting out my opinions should stop you from investing in my drop-proof Always Kosher knife, which is just a regular knife that you super glue to your hand. 

One person says, “If you wouldn’t say it IN the grocery store, don’t say it on Facebook. And if you wouldn’t say it in the grocery store, maybe you should consider if your morals and principles are lacking in that you WANT to say it in the first place.”

I mean, I could talk at length in the grocery store about Iran Contra or Star Trek, but usually the clerks sigh and start scanning my groceries faster when I try. 

And speaking of free speech, we have this post: 

Protests serve a variety of purposes. One purpose is to connect with other people who have a similar grievance as you do and to build on those connections to work for change. 

Another purpose is to show that there are people who feel that the government is doing something wrong, which gives other people who feel that way the courage to come forward and also speak out. 

Protests also put pressure on elected officials. If they see swarms of people in cities and towns protesting them, they know people are angry. Although many elected officials will write it off, some of them will take note that their constituents are upset, and they need to take action. Although our national electeds don’t often see us directly on Vashon, they hear of the many protests large and small in their districts.

I’d guess most protesters don’t operate under the assumption that they will change the minds of conservatives, though it would be a nice bonus if that happened. 

Protests can also be an act of solidarity. People are in the streets showing that they support the communities that are being targeted.

A commenter makes this point: “It’s to show solidarity, I cannot WAIT to see what absolutely perfect plan you’re putting in motion yourself. I know you wouldn’t want to do anything unhelpful, or imperfect, so I quite look forward to YOUR solution! Coming any day now I imagine ”

One misguided islander agrees with the poster. They say, “Spot on. These protesters aren’t activists—they’re entitled crybabies throwing a public tantrum because the world doesn’t revolve around their feelings. Standing at the busiest intersection, holding up traffic it’s not just pathetic—it’s straight-up delusional.”

This is so strange to me because my understanding of right-wing grievances is that anything that makes them slightly uncomfortable or doesn’t conform exactly to their expectations must be punished, jailed, deported, defunded, abolished. The last ten years of American politics have in so many ways revolved around the feelings, whims and tantrums of one particular person. 

Side note, to go on Facebook and post that someone who takes time out of their day to stand at an intersection with a sign that says “Free Garcia” or “Tax the Rich” is throwing a public tantrum is pretty rich irony. 

Maybe the poster should stand on the sidewalk with a sign that says, “Abolish blocking intersections!” 

And speaking of telling people how to interact with public spaces, someone posted this helpful sign: 

I assume this means we should keep our chiweenies inside, unless that security chihuahua is on duty. 

Others interpret it to be about cats. Many people tag up to say to always keep your cats indoors. However, one islander has a different approach. They say, “Alternatively, I put cameras all over my property and soon as I get an alert…. pew, pew, pew. Dead coyote. Dispatched two last week.”

This brings us back to the central question of America: Who pays the price of your freedom? 

No one else in the comments brings this up, which is unfortunate, because the poster who wants thought-provoking content instead of posts about lost cats could find themself in the Middle Way where both those things coexist. Instead, one person says, “If you’re going to shoot them anyway, might I please have their remains while fresh? I’d skin them out and tan them proper.”

Other people say that while killing a coyote may help in the short term, it worsens the problem in the long term. “The evidence shows that killing coyotes destabilizes the pack, causing increased breeding, so more coyotes. Oops, probably not the result you intended.”

The hunter replies, “Legit outcome and one that is not as immediate as a coyote chasing my little dog. But…. I have all the time and plenty of ammunition.”

At last we have located the spectre of death. Release the chiweenies.